The Importance of Eye Contact

The Art of Manliness – one of my favorite blogs – has an excellent post on the importance of maintaining eye contact with others. Leadership is a major topic here on Confederate Colonel, and eye contact is a social matter – actually, a social skill – that every Southern gentleman should practice.

The article not only discusses the reasons why it is so important, but why such a simple thing often seems so difficult. I know that I often have to remind myself of this and make a real conscious effort to make good eye contact when talking with others. I suspect that I am not alone in that.

Here are some of the key points. Be sure to read the full post.

Numerous studies have shown that people who make higher-levels of eye contact with others are perceived as being:

  • More dominant and powerful
  • More warm and personable
  • More attractive and likeable
  • More qualified, skilled, competent, and valuable
  • More trustworthy, honest, and sincere
  • More confident and emotionally stable

 

Why Eye Contact Is Vitally Important for Creating Positive Connections with Others

  • Our eyes were made to connect.
  • Our eyes reveal our thoughts and feelings.
  • Eye contact shows attention.
  • Eye contact creates an intimate bond.

Read the entire post here. This is indicated as “Part 1″, so watch for Part 2.


Added 02/12/2012 – Part 2 of this series can be seen here.

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Ron Paul on Secession

One way to gauge where someone stands is to see who is opposed to them. Ron Paul is a lightning rod to the mainstream media, to the corporate power bosses, and to both the Democratic and Republican party bosses. That, in itself, is reason enough to stand up and take notice. Like anyone else, I can’t agree with Dr. Paul on every single issue; however, I am an ardent supporter of the Ron Paul campaign. Who else but Ron Paul would stand up for the right of secession?

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Study Habits of The Gentleman Scholar – an AOM Classic

The Art of Manliness is one of my favorite blogs, and I highly recommend it to anyone aspiring to be a Southern Gentleman. No, it does not have a Southern slant, but it clearly covers the “Gentleman” portion of what we aim for here at Confederate Colonel.

Today’s post at Art of Manliness is titled “Ace Your Exams: Study Habits of The Gentleman Scholar“. Let me quickly point out that one does not have to be a full time high school or college student to benefit from this post – it applies to anyone with the natural curiosity and hunger for life-long learning that is a mark of the Southern gentleman. In my own case, I know that I need to put more effort into studying God’s word. I have made a number of attempts to seriously study The Bible, yet I never seem to gain traction – I end up wasting time, wandering off on other topics, and just never studying The Bible as I know that I should. The same thing applies to my need to stay up to date with the latest technology and trends in programming languages – my business depends on it, yet it is so easy to get bogged down in the details of running a business that I can quickly lose sight of the long term needs. In other words, I need to learn better study habits. I suspect that you do, too.

Here are the key points from the AOM post. Be sure to read the entire post and become a better Southern gentleman scholar.

  • Time & Energy Management
  • Reading Assignments and Homework
  • Make the Most of Class Time
  • Getting Extra Help
  • Create an Outline or Study Guide
  • Memorizing
  • Self-Testing: The Master Key to Academic Success
  • Study Groups
  • Great Resources on Improving Your Study Skills
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Lessons from the USS Cumberland Sound

Leadership, at its most basic level, means to serve others. A good leader knows that the objective is to get the job done – not to make sure that you receive the glory. I thought about this as I put together a web site containing the photos of the USS Cumberland Sound (AV-17) where my father served as an officer during World War II.

The Cumberland Sound was commissioned in 1944, the war ended in 1945, and the ship was decommissioned in 1947. What a short life for a ship with a crew of over a thousand. The Cumberland Sound was a sea plane tender. She was one of those unheralded service ships that kept the fleet going. You don’t see sea plane tenders in the war movies, and the men who served on them don’t have tales of glory to tell. They simply did their job and they did it well.

I hope you’ll take a few minutes to take a glimpse into the past to see how men served. More than that, I hope you can come away with a greater appreciation for the importance of the unseen work that must be done. A leader understands that leadership means service to others.

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Thanksgiving, 1944

The Norman Rockwell classic, Freedom From Want, speaks volumes of the bounty that we have here in America. Even the poorest of the poor here are far richer than much of the rest of the world. Obesity is a far greater problem in America than is hunger. We have so much to be thankful for.

Do we really understand where our blessings come from? How many times do we off-handedly say “God bless you” without giving any thought to the fact that God HAS richly blessed us.

I want to point out one of the reasons that we have the freedom to celebrate Thanksgiving to our God – the men who have fought and died to preserve our freedom. As I was clearing out some of my father’s papers to clean up for our Thanksgiving Day dinner, I found a reminder of the sacrifice that generations past have made. This is the Thanksgiving Dinner menu for those aboard the U.S.S. Cumberland Sound, AV-17 in 1944.


Part of the crew of the U.S.S. Cumberland Sound, AV-17. My father is the officer in the front row on the right.

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Political Expediency

Watching Republican presidential candidate Rick Perry repudiate the Confederate flag is one of the least-surprising events of this election season. Changing positions, turning away from those who were once supporters, and an embarrassing amount of dishonor are all part of the American political scene. As one who has earned his living for the past 16 years with candidates and PACS as my customers (including being a candidate myself), I have had a grandstand seat at this game called politics. It has not been a pleasant sight.

Is the repudiation of the Confederate flag reason enough to reject a candidate for something as important and all-encompassing as the presidency? On its face – no, it is not; while it is important to many of us, given the problems that this nation is facing, the Confederate flag is pretty low on the priority list even for those of us who actively support The South. It is, however, grounds for crossing a candidate off the list if things like honor and dependability and reliability have any meaning. If he is willing to throw the heritage of Southerners under the bus in order to try to win additional support from the Left (and that is extremely doubtful), then what else is he willing to do? Will he stand up for what is right when faced with vocal opposition? If his flip-flop on the Confederate flag is any indication, he will not. That kind of political pandering to Cultural Marxism is clearly a deal-breaker for me as it should be for anyone who considers the character of a man to be more important than the details of his position on a particular issue. Even those who despise the Confederate flag would do well to consider the full ramifications of what Rick Perry has done. Their cause might be next.

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Exile or Ambassador?

How does a Southern gentleman deal with an unavoidable move to a place far from Dixie? I have heard from several Southern gentlemen who have found themselves, for one reason or another, living deep among the Northern people. Being Southern gentlemen, simply assimilating into the Northern culture is not an option. They have to choose between two alternatives – being an exile or an ambassador. My hope is that every Southern Gentleman who finds himself in that situation will choose the role of ambassador.

Webster’s Dictionary defines an ambassador as:

a diplomatic agent of the highest rank accredited to a foreign government or soverign as the resident representative of his own government or sovereign…
an unofficial representative.

That, sirs, is the role that should be assumed. Being a Southern ambassador does not mean criticizing Northern culture, nor does it mean boasting of the superiority of Southern culture. It means being a Southern gentleman

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Today’s Price of a Slave

This CNN video clip discusses the price of purchasing a slave today. Yes, today. Despite the widely held belief that slavery started and ended with the Southern states, it has always existed, and still exists today – only at rock-bottom prices. As the report points out, a slave purchased in the 19th century would have cost about $40,000 in today’s dollars. That is a major investment. No one neglects and mistreats a valuable investment if they expect to make a profit. On the other hand, the price of a slave today is only $90, making them about as disposable as a Styrofoam cup.

Where is the NAACP? Why are they not demanding an end to slavery now? The answer: they are too busy being “offended” by the sight of the Confederate flag. Apparently, being “offended” is quite appealing when it comes to fund-raising and political pandering. Real slavery just isn’t very interesting to those who are busy claiming to be oppressed because some people of their race were slaves in America over 150 years ago.

Slavery Timeline created by Connie Chastain of the blog 180 Degrees Due South. Reprinted with permission.

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Teaching Our Sons and Daughters

This is from Western Voices World News, but the text can be found scattered throughout the web. The way we raise our sons and daughters, and the way we influence our grandsons and granddaughters is the key to making a better world. It always has been. The Southern gentleman has many duties and obligations, but none are more important than shaping and molding the next generation into Southern gentlemen and Southern ladies who understand where they came from and why it is so important that they pass those same values along to their next generation.

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Why Anti-Southerners Won’t Listen

Those who believe The South was filled with whip-wielding slave-masters have no interest in reading that which shows them to be wrong. Let me quickly point out that, by the same token, I would not really be interested in reading a series of articles trying to show what a great man Lincoln was (I was already forced to read that sort of thing when I went through the public school system). I am more convinced than ever that, for the most part, people are not going to change their views on North-South issues. I don’t say this to throw rocks at the anti-South people either – we Southerners do the same thing.

I believe that we greatly oversimplify what went on during the war and the years leading up to it for a very good reason – fully understanding all the factors involved is simply beyond human comprehension. There is so much involved that there is just no way that we can fully understand it, so we read and learn through the prism of our own background and experience. Those who consider themselves historians and academics do exactly the same thing, only they pretend to be so intellectually superior that they really do understand it all.

Those who see The South as the evil villain that was vanquished by the great and noble union forces can come up with plenty of evidence to support their belief – and can do so with a pretty fair degree of honesty. Those of us who take the opposite view – that The South was right and represented all that is good and noble – can do exactly the same thing with the same degree of honesty. There are ample facts and anecdotes to support either position. What does not exist is the human capacity to look at the entire situation, digest it all, and come to a full understanding that can be communicated to others. We simply can’t do it, and only the most arrogant of self-proclaimed academics would claim otherwise.

Paradoxically, that is why there can be no middle ground on this. We can read about the exact same period of history and come away with facts that support one side or the other. It ultimately comes down to our core beliefs and experiences. We Southerners have a very strong connection with the land – a sense of place that is largely missing in Northern culture. We generally have stronger family ties and those family ties extend back to those who fought for their country – the Confederate States of America. Southerners are generally more socially conservative than those in the North, and that causes us to see the struggle of the Confederate States as one of withdrawing from a tyrannical government that had drifted far from the America of 1776. The Northern view, with its social liberalism, sees the government as the enforcer of their social ideals rather than letting individuals and social structures sort it out.

So, what does this mean to those of us who take the Southern view? It means that we need to just get used to the idea that, no matter how many facts we know and present, those who take the Northern view are not going to be convinced – just as they aren’t going to convince us. We are both operating from facts – there are just so many facts covering so many different things that there is no clear-cut “Side A = good guys and Side B = bad guys.” If it was that clear-cut, then there is a good chance that the War for Southern Independence never would have happened.

Does this mean that we should simply end our efforts at educating people about that period of history and the role that our Southern ancestors had in it? No. There are new generations, both Northern and Southern, who have not yet been thoroughly indoctrinated in political correctness. We must continue to make a strong effort to present the Southern view of history. Give them the freedom to make up their own minds by having both views of history to select from. Remember – history is complex; both sides have facts to back up their position. The Northern side has the advantage of the full power of the government and the public schools to present their side as the only side.

We should also get used to the idea that the Southern view does not fit into the modern political mold and we will continue to be modern-day pariahs.

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