I believe that you are following the traditional rules of etiquette just fine. I don’t know the details of where that rule originated, but there are almost always some very practical reasons behind rules of etiquette – or any other social beliefs and traditions, for that matter.

I have read your post and I completely agree with these thoughts. I do however have to ask one question. Being a person who works in the engineering field and wears a hat/cap daily I find myself removing my hat/cap when I physically sit down (whether it’s a restaurant or anothers home.) I know this isn’t traditionally good manners but I feel if you stay long enough to sit then you should remove your hat/cap.

These are the things that set us apart from much of the rest of the world. It shouldn’t be that way, but it is.

Your recommendation for thank you notes is so valuable. I was taught that they were your best friend and should always be sent in a timely manner. You would not believe how few I have received for graduation and wedding gifts, most of them were late, in horrible manuscript, not cursive and full of misspelled words. The ultimate disgrace and honor at the same time is to receive a thank you written in perfect English executing proper spelling and punctuation by a foreigner. Obviously other cultures respect and honor a gentility that has escaped our modern generation AND their parents.