Last month, Food Network chef Paula Deen gave a videotaped deposition as part of a discrimination suit she’s facing in which she discussed her desire to have a “very southern style wedding” for her brother modeled after a restaurant where the “whole entire wait staff was middle-aged black men” clad in white jackets and black bow ties, according to a transcript of the deposition filed in federal court in Georgia. Deen also admitted to having used the N word and discussed the ways the word could be “not said in a mean way.” (source)

Her “incriminating” statement? “Yes, of course,” said Deen, when asked by a lawyer if she had ever used the “N word.”(source). So, we have someone with the honesty to affirm that she had said something that she regrets saying. Are we to believe that all those media figures who are expressing shock and outrage have never done anything like that in their entire life? Remember, the question was if she had ever used that word.

While she is being destroyed for using the word “nigger” (referring to “the N-word” is beyond childish – as though it would cast some evil spell), this is hypocritical exploitation in its purest form. The media has seized upon the use of a “forbidden word”, used in a private meeting, to attack a Southern icon. Her real crime? Having the audacity to discuss a “very Southern style wedding” based on imagery from one of the most widely-known romance novels of all time – Gone With The Wind. She wanted to recreate another time for her brother’s wedding and, horror of horrors, she wanted to use the race of those who would be hired to make it more historically accurate. Those who would be serving the food would essentially be actors in a play, yet because such ideas apparently provoke a feeling of being horribly offended by the oh-so-sensitive class, she is being publicly scorned. Try doing a Google search for “plantation wedding” – it’s a very popular venue.

Am I saying that using racial slurs to offend someone is acceptable? No, of course not. This blog is about the Southern gentleman, and a Southern gentleman shows respect to all – at least until such time that they demonstrate that they are completely unworthy of such respect. Even at that point though, the Southern gentleman has a vocabulary large enough to find and use a better choice of words.

The Atlanta Cyclorama and Civil War Museum, which is being refurbished. Take a look at the facial expression. Care to guess how The South will be portrayed?

An article in the New York Times talks about the upcoming sesquicentennial events regarding the War for Southern Independence (of course, they incorrectly called it “the Civil War”). As if the demonization of Southern Whites since the election of Obama was not enough, we can count on even more of the same in the coming years commemorating the 150th anniversary of the War for Southern Independence.

Those who hate The South and all it stands for have but one weapon – the subject of slavery. They have none other. We have made a good faith effort to clearly and calmly explain the facts – both the good and the bad – about slavery, but it has made little or no difference. The South is still made into the whipping boy for all the racial problems in America.

It has long been my belief that we should simply refuse to engage in discussions about the topic of slavery with those who try to destroy Southern heritage. I have found that there is simply no way to make any progress in such discussions.  The typical belief is that The South is synonymous with slavery, and everything else hinges on that idea. Any attempt to get them to step outside their little box results in charges of “racist”. OK, enough is enough. I refuse to allow myself to be affected by that now-meaningless word. The Left has used that as their magic talisman to instantly silence their critics and claim moral superiority. They get away with it because we let them.

Our path is clear – we must continue to uphold the high standards of the Southern gentleman and treat everyone with respect and dignity – including our Southern ancestors and the heritage and culture that they represent. For far too long, we have mistakenly looked at treating “others” with respect and dignity as a one-way street and applied it only to those who mock and demonize us. Those “others” include our fellow Southerners, our families, our culture, our heritage, and our kinship.

We hold to The Definition of a Gentleman by Robert E. Lee:

“The forbearing use of power does not only form a touchstone, but the manner in which an individual enjoys certain advantages over others is a test of a true gentleman. The power which the strong have over the weak, the employer over the employed, the educated over the unlettered, the experienced over the confiding, even the clever over the silly — the forbearing or inoffensive use of all this power or authority, or a total abstinence from it when the case admits it, will show the gentleman in a plain light. The gentleman does not needlessly and unnecessarily remind an offender of a wrong he may have committed against him. He cannot only forgive, he can forget; and he strives for that nobleness of self and mildness of character which impart sufficient strength to let the past be but the past. A true man of honor feels humbled himself when he cannot help humbling others.”
Robert E. Lee

Treating everyone in the manner of a Southern gentleman does not mean closing our eyes to reality. It does not mean obsequious deference to those who mock all that we stand for. It simply means treating all others with respect and dignity. How they respond may determine the tone of future interaction, but the assumption is always that the other person is due a full measure of respect and dignity.

This video was produced in the Czech Republic, so some of the titles have the spelling and grammar of a non-native English speaker. The message still comes through quite clearly.

Speaking of those who survived the murderous reigns of Nazi and Soviet occupation of Lithuania:

Each of them knows the single biggest lesson from Lithuania: Naked, brute force can and does triumph over kindness, love of kin and country, and simple human decency — often for decades or more.

History books are always written by the victors, and they will always portray themselves as “the good guys” who triumphed over “the bad guys”. It has seldom been seen so clearly as it is with the slandering of Southern culture and heritage. We have a duty – a moral obligation – to protect and defend the honor of those who came before us. No, they were not perfect; they were sinful men just like every man since Adam. They were, however, fighting for that which is good, that which is pure, and that which is decent. They fought to maintain the Constitutional Republic which was formed by the Founding Fathers. As Jefferson Davis put it, “I love the Union and the Constitution, but I would rather leave the Union with the Constitution than remain in the Union without it.”